429 Days

A majority of my blog is about the amazingness of traveling. The easy part is when your feet are going, it's when you stop moving that things become hard. 416 days ago I came to Banff. Nowhere to live, 1 friend, no job, no clue about what to do. And then I built myself a life here. Year one was amazing, everything was new and magical, I made so many friends who quickly became family, and I learned so much about myself and became stronger than I ever knew I could be.

It's year two that is starting to become a struggle. My adventure at the beginning of summer was amazing, but coming back to Banff afterwards has been difficult. Few stay in Banff for more than a season, and all of my friends left at the end of the last one. Settling into a normal routine where nothing is fresh and new like it was the first time around makes it hard, and realizing that if you had to sink into normalcy you'd rather be at home, makes it even harder.

I went home recently and cried for 3 days about leaving back to Banff to finish out my contract. It wasn't until I was home that I realized I missed a lot of the comforts of home, but mostly my mama. If I could have it all I would, but unfortunately you can't be a backpacker and bring your mommy with you everywhere.

So why do it then? Why stay away from home? These are questions I ask myself from time to time. These are questions that make me doubt myself and consider going home. There are times when I am sad to be away from home, away from my family. But then I realized how blessed I am to be living the life I am living. If life's journey hadn't taken the paths it did, I may have stayed in a small town in Midwest for the rest of my life, never travelled anywhere for more than a week, and never taken half of the chances or opportunities I have had since I left on my solo journey in Canada, 429 days ago, on 2 August 2013.

There will always be times that I will be sad, I will be homesick, I will miss my mama. But there are beautiful moments where the sun is shining and I look around me and realize that I am the luckiest little girl in the world to have this as my backyard and to have all the opportunities I have, and I am entirely grateful for it all.

Sulphur Mountain, 3 October 2014